Sleepless..

Its 3 in the morning and I've been up from 2. This is not good since I need to be up in a few hours from now anyway.
I do enjoy my hours awake but If I do plan on living for a few more years without serious health issues I think I should get more sleep.

The long effects of sleep deprivation might not be too good. I dunno why but it tends to happen to me, I have very bad sleep cycles. Most times now I don't sleep over 7 hours, I can't sleep.. I just wake up and sleep for 7 hours is only possible on a Sunday.

So what I'm I going to do now that I'm up, well I updated the previous post which I had posted without a title. Oh! the other thing I'm more awake when I should be sleepy I have no idea how that is possible.

The previous post, I didn't write a title, I didn't add any tags but I'm in what should be a really sleepy state I started with the title and remembered tags. :)

If you wake up in the middle of the night like I do, then you will know you're pretty much always hungry when you do wake up. Unless of course I'm the only one. hmm....

food.. lets go find food and hopefully I can go back to sleep and can salvage what is left of the sleep hours of the day...

Fist Fight!

I've been in very few fights and all of them have been when the rest were drunk and I was not, I am never drunk because I don't drink.

One thing that bugs the shit outta me is that all of the fights I've been in, the guy who started the bloody fight isn't the one ending it and there are a whole bunch moronic idiots (Blow pals of the guy/s who started it) who are hitting each other. Also the so called 'hitting' its wild swings like throws of love at a long lost lover! Or they hold each other and start going at it Sumo Style. err hello doesn't anyone know anything about a nice left hook or a upper cut?

Oh! wait.. one of my favourites, the famous Chick Style SLAP! SLAP! WOW! These fools have shit for Brains!

Many years ago at a party, I must've been around 18, So one guy had a problem with one of my friends and so he slapped him, friend said "ok alright are you happy now" to which I was quite happy cos we might be avoiding a fight and then the slapped him again so the friend asked him is he was happy now? and then well.. sadly after the 3rd slap even the friend lost his cool.
Point being its admirable that he stayed without hitting back but not quite so after it became an all out gang bang!

So yours truly ended up dragging the chap outta that one...

That’s what I do when the fight breaks out I drag the stupid fucks out of it.

If it was me however, I hope that if someone had a problem with me I would take the beating plead/beg/cry like a baby for mercy. (ammo mata bah, gahana epa! ayyooo ammmooo) :)

Don't you think that's enough to make them stop?

I think its easier to take a punch. Otherwise you'll hit back and one thing leads to another.

If you're there alone then you don't have to worry about the friends getting involved or worse if you're there with a girl/s (even just a friend/s) you don't need to worry about her/them being harassed.

So My advice, take the hit, throw ego and pride out the window and cry like hell so they think you're a fag and leave you alone but at least it might not get blown sky high outta proportion

Besides I know that if I lose it, even if I'm getting beaten I'll probably incapacitate at least one of them for life before I go down which would land me in prison and I don’t think prison is pretty enough for me!

So if anyone runs into a fight try my advice and let me know if it works.

Me, A Poet?

Me, A Poet?
I try with lyrical attempt to string words that otherwise
Wouldn't make any sense.
Finding balance between expression, freedom
and the fear of revealing myself
I try to hold down a sense of sadness within my scope of fun
An oxymoron gives me the ability to lay down my pun
I try with the greatest pleasure to give to you, my reader
My Critique, the chance to maybe, maybe give me a chance
To read me, like a book, an open book, word by word, word to word
I speak in a language of words, weightless words
Words that unfold my deepest mystery
It is not complicated, it’s a simple function of placement
Word after word, I use them as pawns in my game
As I dance about in circles making absolutely ridiculous sense
My pawns killed in the process, scarified for a better verse
There lies in me a hope, that someone somewhere will speak my language
In my poetic lyrical language that I hide behind, trying to convey
The story of a boy hoping to be a poet someday, and because
Because I try, I always have, I always will, try, to make
creative sense within my nonsense.

Suicide? Really?

Ok so this is how it all went down;

Call comes from a Friends girl friend (GF) he ends the call and looks at me and says "machan gf's neighbour has locked himself in his room and can't get out we've got to go and take him out"

Me - "Really? How the fuck did he manage that?"
Friend - " I don't know he has had a fight with his grandmother (GM) and locked himself up, now he wont come out"
Me - "oh bugger, so why won't he come out? How old is he? 5 or 6?"
Friend - "I don't know man, apparently there is no sound he is not answering and no! he is bloody 20 years old"
Me - "oh! REALLY!"
Friend - "Yes they're afraid he has done something to himself"
Me - "WHAT? then why are we going?"
Friend - "Well.. I don't know, apparently the (GM) is really worried and doesn't know what to do"
Me - "oh shit!"
Friend - "I know"
Me - "ook then lets go and see but usually I wouldn't get involved man"
Friend - "I know man"
Friend - "Ok, worst case scenario the bugger is dead and we wont be having dinner today, we'll be spending the rest of the night in the police station or we will be rushing him to some hospital somewhere"
Me - " Yeah ok, yeah worst case scenario, seems ok I suppose.. but what if the bugger is dead really? Oh boy.. all that mess we'll be the one's questioned for everything"
Friend - "I just got another call, they want us to come soon"
Me - "huh.. ok then.. shape so lets go then maybe we might be able to save him.. and worst case no dinner no"

Ok, so we're in the car and friend goes " Don't drive fast last thing I wont is for you go crash us somewhere" We just poke the car out of the lane on the main road and then friend swears in all the sinhala he knows at the lorry driver who was coming on the wrong side basically he would've hit the passenger side and he was shouting at us as if it was our fault and I was the second car pulling onto the main road and I was blinded by everything all I could do was follow the car in front of me.

Mother Fuckers..

So we get there.. Grandmother says "do you have a screwdriver to open the lock?" Friend "No but I can break this door open" GM "ok"

So, Bang Bang Bang door cracks open.. NO ONE INSIDE! THE STUPID SON OF A BITCH! He has just locked the door and left the house!

If we got our hands on him at that time I'm sure he would've wished he had committed suicide!

Just another day in my life...

Freaking Friday's!

Ok, there is something wrong with my Friday's. Every Friday for the last 3 weeks has been bloody horrible. I dunno why! Something just seems to happen and it screws up my whole weekend. These things just pop out randomly right out of the blue!

I'm not one to believe in superstitions but Friday the 13th really rocked my boat this time around.

The highlight of my day was my meeting with Mr. Billy!
Billy was really nice and somewhat inquisitive about where I was from. Otherwise quite cordial and paid very good attention to whatever we were talking about.

Except for the one time that He (Billy) got a upto my eye level and looked me in the eye for about 30 seconds I was quite happy to be around Billy.

I wish I met a few more Mr. Billy's and this place would be a much nicer place to live in.
For what its worth, Billy is a 2 year old Beagle. Most adorable creature I've seen in sometime. Reminded me of an old friend :)

Tired??? NOT ME!

Ok, firstly I sleep about 6 hours a day now.. I used to sleep about 4 to 5 hours a day!
Secondly I start work at what ever time I wake up, this means if i'm up at 4 in the morning.. I'm working and if I'm up at 9 I'm working.

So its a weekday and you have work tomorrow. So???? You're bloody 23 or 24 or still young enough aint you?

People always complain that they are tired.. ok I can understand when people say they're tired on and off but when you're tired everyday! Gimme a break!

Its almost 12 midnight now. I dunno its just a choice of going to sleep or staying up for me. Why do people feel so tired? I'm almost NEVER tired! Either I'm just weird. ok I know I'm weird but still..

Aargh!..

I just have too much energy in me and I'm too young and I'm not going to live long enough to say I can wait till the weekend to have fun...

Who wants to live forever?

I've lived 23 years and the days just seem to speed up. Before I know it I will be 24 and then 25.
I remember this little cousin of mine who I kinda used to take care of. she is 3 years younger than I am and now she's 20 and to be 21 this year. So I was thinking to myself how fast the years have gone. It is unbelievable don't you think? Time moves farward even though I think we are stuck in most of our past. What we enjoy these days is our past and not our future. Then again do we ever really celebrate our future? So we are living rewinds. Laughing at the good times and missing people from our past.

Even now at 23 there are so many responsibilities creeping up on me. I know that some people have had to deal with this much before I have but yet I have to deal with it now. Life is getting serious now..

I think another 10 years is good enough.. life really doesn't make any sense.. I think we are all just living like robots with so real reflection or appreciation of the life we live. At least that is how I live. I work almost everyday.. So I don't have time to look at anything else most of the time. I'm outta the house in the morning and I'm back home around 9 or 10 pm.

Me, like I said another 10 years and I think thats more than enough of this world don't know if anything else will make me change my thinking but once you do achieve certain things in life what else is there? Isn't it?

So yeah who wants to live forever? anyone? I love Queens song.. Who wants to live forever? Hope you enjoy!

1,2,3,4,5,6,7 Seven.. yes Seven...!

The rules:


*Link your tagger and list these rules on your blog.


*Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.


*Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.


*Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.



Here it is then;

OK, so following Rule #1 I was tagged by scrumpulicious and gutter flower



The Seven

1. I hate the Rain, I hate it when the roads get muddy and messy! I like nice clean roads to walk/travel on and I love tropical weather nice warm sunny days are what I live for.
   
2. This Blog was NEVER supposed to be anything more than something for me to put up the lyrics(some call it poetry) I write but since then its taken another direction though and given me an outlet to scream!!


3. I am a perfectionist.


4. I rarely have second servings, I prefer to serve food at once cos I believe the taste changes when you dish for the second time (esp with sri lankan food) ;)


5. A lot of people think I'm a nice guy until I open my mouth


6. It takes me about one month to clean my room.


7. I pick sides, If i pick your side I'm on it right or wrong. I believe that is how life should be. I hate people in the middle.

So thats Seven about me, ok so who I'm I gonna Tag.

How about... Lady Divine, Pissu, She Mind, Indyana, Java, Pink Mist and last of all... The Lost Poet :)

A Boy and His Fucked up Fairy-tale

Gone? I used to be this person who believed in a fairytale, My own made up one. Yes I am guy 'boo hoo..' and i believed in a fairytale and NO I'm not gay for believing.

Yeah ever since I can remember I've known or believed that I will not be married. My reasons are my own and whatever they maybe I always thought that heck its not for me. All through this however I also had this belief that somewhere out there I would find a girl who would become my best friend and I would tell her everything about my life and she and I would be fabulous together.

Yeah I was not going to get married but I would have the girl of my dreams. Oxymoron if ever there was one, yes well that's my fairytale and its my fairytale so I get to live it anyway I want it.

Right, back on track... So yes, this girl would be someone I would trust. She would be the one person I would trust. Believe-you-me this girl was all made up but she was everything I wanted in one person.

Now what happens when this fairytale actually becomes reality? Yes You could say I was lucky.. or I thought I was lucky to find this.. And Oh boy I trusted, I loved and found my best friend. I trusted for the first time in my life..

The fairytale lasted sometime before it came crashing down on me. Only for me to realize that I was chasing my dream and I was never really a part of her dream. So my world stopped spinning for sometime. Thankfully I had pressure from work that I couldn't Ignore without having to pay a huge price for it. So I kept at that. That is all that got me through and that is all that gets me through...

Over the last year or so.. I've fixed myself, fixed meaning I've put the broken parts together by dumping everything into one regardless of how best they fit. I Left the heart out as an unessential unimportant part of the fixing up. Killed every bit of sensitivity I had, not that I had much but.. whatever I did have I kinda go rid of it too and so I'm fixed.

I've made a few mistakes over the last couple of months. More so leading from insanity of the break up. Hey I need to blame it on something right?. If I think about it honestly though.. they were not mistakes. It was something I did because I knew I had to do. Life's too short to leave room for "what if's?" so they were done.

Back to me.. Yeah I watched something that should've rekindled that fairytale I had made up for myself but this time it didn't. My Story is over... a badly written script with a fucked up ending. With pages missing before the ending so when it came to the end it could hit me with a nice rude awakening. Yes that's how it ended!

If anyone has watched the movie "Meet Joe Black" there is this scene at the coffee shop when he(Joe) was talking with the girl(Susan) he met. Joe tells Susan that when he finds the right girl he would do anything for her and she would do anything for him. Ah.. so that's where it started for me. Yeah I always believed that to be a possibility but movie idealized it for me. Its not a goal but more like a place I need to be.

So whichever way... its done now. When I think of the possibility that, hey maybe I'll find someone to hangout with. Err... Yeah that possibility doesn't exist anymore for me.

"No I'm not a corny sod who thinks of happily ever after and no its not my life ambition to find someone to settle down with".

This is my take on my life. After all.. friends will move on with their lives however way they wish to live it. Parents and family move on too.. Such is how life moves forward.. So in the middle years either I learn to live completely alone or I find someone I like to live with.. I thought it would be fun if there was someone I liked who would also be around to share some of the stupid things I like doing.

This post... well I guess I'm just venting... Because so many times I hear women complain that there are no decent guys. Those are the stupidest bitches I've ever met. I wonder what they consider to be decent, as far as I know decent is being a nice guy, caring, honest and the type that can put someone else's needs before his, a guy who would probably go through hell and back for the people he loves. Don't these count for being a decent guy? Maybe not.. i suppose the female definition of decent is this big guy who has shit for brains and is just looking to get laid so he will tell his girl everything she wants to hear so he gets his daily fuck, this guy would cheat on his girl and make a lame excuse like "it was a momentary laps but you're the love of my life". And guess what she would take him BACK! Fuck-shit if she was the love of his life he would remember that while he was banging that chick he was not supposed to be banging.

I am a one girl guy... Apparently those qualities are fucking no good in this day and age... Am I the only one who sees the irony of this?

I've never been so bitter about 'women' in my life..I've always respected them.. and the closest people in my life have been women right trough out.. Right now though.. I am just sick and tired of their bull shit. Most of all I am sick and tired of the person I've become .... but I have no idea how to be anything else because this is how I react to pain. I close up.. shut down.. talk little and let the world and everything in it go to hell. Basically I don't give a damn...

I read Lady Divine's post and got a bit worked up.. this has been boiling in me for a long time now.. It was in draft for a few days.. Finally the other day Spider was telling me that my blog has run dry and so I told her I'm not sure If this is too personal for me.. Oh well.. Root of My Affliction :)